Hi
how are u?
At the end of the month I'm leaving MDD
so I wont have any Ana support or anything
I really can't afford to loose the support I have on here
so if you could please give me addresses (snail mail)
and cell/mobile numbers
please I wont be able to access the net at all
no thinspo, no pro ana nothing
just me
thats why Ineed you guys to repliy
please please repliy I cant afford to loose such great freinds
stay strong
much love Amanda xxx

Heyy you havent updated in ages. Hope youve been well

xxxx

aww i know how you feel huni

much love Amanda xxx

lol

nice diary.

'Ana where are you?? I need you bitch!!'

i totally know how you feel there.

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

Oooooh good luck :D

Stay happy xxxx

Hey i'm soooo happy for you!

that's great! I hope ur weekend goes great!

keep us updated on what happens!

~cassidy~

oh yeah...i readded u to my new diary. Hope that's alright :)

YAY!

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU CHICKS!!

WOOHOO U N GLEN;) SEXY TIME!

u have bebo right? I just like made a new one cuz my last one deleted! Wots ur username n ill add ya!

Support&Love, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Grrrr

My boyfriend didnt even bother asking for sex

I dont think

I dunno, I cant even remember

It would have been worth all the stress if he'd actually been any good lol

But oh well

Ill never have to do that...or should i say him...again

xxx

Oh god same thing happened to me

I went to the hospital the next day

I wanted to go with my best friend but felt guilty and so my boyfriend came instead

He was a complete dickhead, not supportive at all

Cause I was really upset because I knew that if I had been pregnant then the pill might have just killed it...but he didnt understand that and spent the whole time shouting at me

Life is much simpler without sex lol

xxx

aww good luck huni

stay strong

much love Amanda xxx

Good luck.. u ever feel weak leave me a comment! woo do it

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

good luck.

im here.

Hellarockstar!

Amy is SUCH a roostery bitch! like wtf!

Haha about the sweet potatoe thing..

Yeah that was bitchy of Ash, but Mk still looks great now (she just looked better then!=)) Hahaha..

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxxxx

Haha nahh im sucking in as much as I can in those

Thats my goal "look" lol

And im 5"5

You?

xxx

Ooooh were the same weight!!

Id love to try and get down to 118 with you although I know I probably wont but can I try with you anyways?

xxx

what an efing bitch. shes sounds like a real good friend(sarcasm intended)125 is great im trying to get there im a bit taller than you though so i wont be too jealous:) jk i so amgood luck girltell amy shes a bitch for me

-me

Hey abe.

glad 2 hear about glen=)

but ick, I hate smokes...:P ewwie.. no judgemnet though! will take some of your hunger away too=)

Support&Love, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxx

Aww=(I know how you feel! Been there.. never cut though! is this your 2nd time? That sucks, but I guess its like you eat you feel pain so it could like help. I read somewhere that everytime you ate to wear an elastic band around your wrist and snap it so your mind will eventually tell your body you dont want it.. kinda cool.

SCREW amy, I say GO FOR IT. You be the one all over Glen! And be ULTRA nice to her so it looks like your really sweet and stuff (ino ima byotch!) lol..

I KNOW! Steph is soooo beautiful, I missed it las night but hummahumma the guy is SO hot! ahhh! feel sorry for steph havin to pretend shes goin out with your man! there all soooo roostery though!

Stay strong babe!I know we can do it... do it for glen!

Support&Loove, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxxx

i didnt know you cut too. im running out of room in places no one sees. i want a blank canvis to start over

-me

this is Awesome huni

i hope to read some more like it

much love Amanda xxx

Wow, that poem was soo awesome!I binges too tonight, but I purged 3 times, there still at least 500 calories in my body. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I feel your pain babe!

OMG did you watch bb?Omfg steph n jennifer are sooo beautiful, wow THINSPO!

I hope you do better tommorow sweetie!

Support&Love, Chloe xxxxxxxx

That was me today...without the cutting

But only because im too vein to cut

xxx

FKING amazing!

Wow.

I feel so much for that

its like.... me.

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

Good luck.

Don't dawn on the past.

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

Thank you,, hehe I will

xoxoxo

Huuum, he sounds nice=)

Go for it!

Ehh I know she's soo beautiful. I know dont think I can last that long either!! but i soooo want to!! so Im guna try even if i can barely move by next wens with the hunger!

Yay.. fastin together!Yah! diet coke used to be for me, but I figured that ice cold water makes you lose+refreshment..just wanna c if I can cope!

woop woop. thiin.

Support&Love, Chloe xxxxxxxxx

aww i'm sorry to hear about that huni

fortunitly shes neverleft me

and i hope she never will

much love Amanda xxx

You're hair is beautifuul! but your face is beautiful too.. you're gorgeous hunny!!

Love&Support,chloe xxxxxxxxxx

yeah ana left me for three or so days but shes back. asisted by mia. im not eating today and the five pounds i gained over those two days is gone

flushed out with water and laxitives. good luck girl. you can do it

I know

Ana has left the building with me aswell

And I really really hope she comes back soon but im not sure if she will

Anyways, as long as you dont get pressured into doing anything you dont want to do with Glenn (cool name btw) then he sounds pretty awsum :)

So hope everything works out xxx

aww im sorry to hear that huni

better luck tomorrow

stay stong

much love Amanda xxx

i love your hair :O

Lovess

Hellarockstar

i love reading
those. like everybody has one

[xxPinkxLovexx]

you're so pretty.
i LOVE your hair.

[SYNTHETICxSOULS]

I LIKE IT! I WANT IT

 *CJ steals your hair*

oh haha, well they're super cute.
where are you from. i've never
heard fringe before...lol

omigod, i love your bangs.

<3

cool

i love the fringe

much love Amanda xxx

Your so pretty!

Love your fringe xxx

Wow 45! Well done!!!

Grrr ur so lucky

he sounds really nice

Hmmmmm...just wait and see what happens

Dont wreck you and your friends relationship for a guy cause theyre hardly ever worth it

xx

btw, when you do like crunches and sit ups, you aren't burning calories, really. it's more that you're tightening your muscles, which is good :)

good luck,

Wow 45 cal im soo jelous

congratulations on your fringe

i bet its gunna look super hot

much love Amanda xxx

hi girl, this is miss kaoticdiva. im just concerned, are you anorexic or you're just cautious about waht you eat. healthy diet though, except for the diet coke and all that

failor is the road to success. Learn by them and continue to move forward. We sometimes beat ourselfs up to much. I know you will loose the weight.

God bless

Hey dont be sorry about it.ur still doin amazing! Yeaaah I hate starving too. especialy after you eat its like yor stomach expands overnight or something! Keep goin girl, n i hope your  total stick by the end of it!

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hope that works for you girl. starting taking diet pills. ughh! eating apples and rice cakes.

read my entry its intresting.

u can do it ..x

i might copy it if it works is that ok??

comment me

alice..x

glas1221..x

[glas1221]

are you seriously like that. like when i go to a hair solan am like do this do tthis do that but  and its never good enough but i would f***ing bad if they  mess it up i would yell at them but not cry. and yay no food for me until next monday!

Heyy

thankyou for your comment.

and my goal weight is like 5 stone.

but its all ruined at the moment.. i was doing SO well.

ahh i am a hairdresser and i'd probably FUnK your hair up :)

i have a CRAZY style :)

Stay strong.

Your doing well compared to me atm.

Lovess

Hellarockstar! 

Lol.. u cried! poor girl! hehe.. i hope it comes out amazing bt im sure it will!! coz the hair you want from chantelle is amazing.

Yup, 'll join untl thurs cus im goin away and loike that might be kinda hard! lol...!

nd yes! Irish is a language... its sh*t! lol! meh, we're guna do it..! binging is horible.. my motivation went now its soo back! wooowooo!=)

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxxx

awww

huni i totally over ate to i ate like 3000 cals

omfg im such a disgusting fat cow

id love to jion you in ur fast

keep me posted and i'll do the same xxx

Oh my gosh.  I totally know what you mean about your hair!
I haven't had mine cut in a style since 7th grade.
When I get trims, I freak out and think the stylist is going to ruin it!

Haha!  Best of luck to you!

girl way to go!!!

keep up the good work

wow, your doing so good.

I am ultraaaaa obesely Jealous!

I really really hope you reach your goal.

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxx

Have a great halk term

I love her hair and wish mine was that colour and that length

[worriedgirl]

Yeow I LOVE chantelles hair there. Amazing..

I used to want that, but then I got a bob... ur.. my hair used to be so long I f***ed that up 2...like everythin else. This is crazy bt guess what? Im gettin my hair done tomorow tooo...haha.. coincidence?? hehe wooo im goin blonde yeeeow=)

thanks babe. Your doing soooo good. I'm waaaaay jealous!! Rading your entries gives me SO much motivation.

Love&support, Chloe xxxxxxxxx

Bleh stupid fat people.

Anyways...I dunno, i dont think he will but for some reason im not that bothered. Just a bit disappointed. Im wondering what i could have done differently, maybe if i was skinnier...or prettier...or nicer...or funnier etc etc etc etc...

Meh

Dont care.

At least im nothing like the fat girl

xx

She won didnt she? It was really good. I love Tyra Banks lol.

And its okay, that girl (who is almost definately fat, HA) really pisses me off and im in the mood to have a go at someone lol.

She seriously needs help. Grrrr.

Anyways, well done on the fast.

Wish i could be bothered/wish there was no such thing as chocolate/wish that my parents didnt make me eat

xxx

She's gorgeous

Like...perfect figure. Jealous

Anyways, that bitch...is, well, a bitch.

Dunno what gives her the right.

Just ignore her and do what makes you happy :)

x

Again... think what you f***ing want to.. I really don't care. Big deal.. you dance in the street? How does that show your happy your lighter? that means nothing... i do that everyday. Go for you... you can dance. And btw.. just because YOU think your lighter doesn't me your boyfriends not going to break up with you and say your way fatter in bed. No matter how big or small you are... he can say that.

u go girlie:) 115 is a great wieght. im almost there myself.

two more weeks and ill be good to go. thanks for commenting and supporting me rather then trying to talk me out of sh*t. your cool

stay strong

loves  -brooke

[lildarkshadow]

purging never works for me either :P

plus it screws up your organns and things like that, hah.

but yeah, i commented on your last entry with an excersice you can do for butt (:

okay, for butt

get into an army crawl position (you know, elbows on ground and your body like a plank) and then slowly lift your leg up and squeeze your butt,

try 15 on each side twice a day (:

good for you. i would be like f***ing crying right now if i had to eat a burger. i cant do that.

what the f*** do people say about you in school?

i hate people that just makes some gay ass comments.

am scared to take in more than 150 calories a day.
!

Congrats on the size 6 top.. 1 size away from 0..:O

ahhhh.. luky you.. new clothes too..uhhr, I hate you;)

So yeah... keep going girl. You CAN do it, great idea on the metabolism=)

 WillPower- Love&Support Chloe xxxxxxxxx

i've been crying alot lately too. i dont know what to do. i need help too girl. stay strong

say no to food!

stay strong!
amber xo.

Awww baby, dont worry about it

You'll work it off in no time.

I hate parents sometimes x

Wtf? The scales are BITCHES.. I cant even believe that, 400 cals should NOT do that. Maybe your body hi starvation. Damn starvation.

Just read your last two entries. Boy, I am jealous. Loong blonde hair, Blue eyes.. Geeeez. You're so lucky.

2lbs will b gone in no time.

Feel better=(

Will Power

Love and support, Chloe xxxxxxxx

Darl
I'm in the same boat as you
Whenever I eat something I shouldnt have
I calcualte how many calories it holds
^{[[In your case 400]]}
& I take a power walk.
Time it when you do.
A 10 minuet walk is almost 100+ calories burned.
Do this & the math & you should have those calories off in no time
:]

Skye

Dont worry, you will be able to bounce back!

<3

lisa's just girl i have to sit next to in russian classes coz the other guy farts.a lot.

ahhh regina george!that made me smile...yes what an a hole mat is.

i guess people just give up on me and have no faith in me.

xxxx

Npe I neva get the happy dizzy feeling I want it though

Hope ya reach it! doing amazingly girlie.. keep going.. inspirational..

Love&Support, Chloe xxxxxxx

I thought I would feel really good after I purge but i still felt like I was full. So best was is not to eat. Good luck girl.

Woooh!!!

It's not really that beautiful but okay lol.
=]

Heyy well done!!

Sorry if u think this is lame but can you please please comment my latest entry?

I need some serious opinions because my heads all messed up

Anyways

Good luck xxx

you know, the more you think about not eating, the hungrier you will get. Try and keep yourself occupied and not even think about not eating.

(:

[dayesauce]

wow you ARE amazing well done :)!

(Y)

xxxx

am so proud of you girl.

ididnt go to school todaybut i ate sh*t load lol. we're like at the same weight right now. let me know wats going on and if you lose anything.

good luck.

LOVE

NO!!!  SERIOUSLY, YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!!  LOOK AT ME?!?!?  I LEARNED HOW TO PURGE, AND THOUGHT I WOULD USE IT AS A "JUST IN CASE" THING, AND I DID, BUT NOW I PURGE A MINIMUM OF PROBABLY 6 OR 7 TIMES A DAY.  TRUST ME, IT IS NOT A HAPPY FEELING.  DO YOU REALLY WANT TO WIPE UP STRAY PUKE OFF THE SIDE OF THE TOILET, AND SOMETIMES WIPE THE WALL BECAUSE THE VOLUME OF YOUR BINGE WAS SO BIG??  ONE DAY YOU WILL REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE SPENT OVER $30 BUCKS ON BINGE FOOD, ONLY TO WATCH IT BEING FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET, AND YOU WILL BE ALONE, AND SCARED, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL DIE OR NOT FROM YOUR ESOPHOGUS BURSTING AS THE FOOD IS FORCED THE WRONG WAY.  YOUR MOUTH WILL HAVE A DISGUSTING TASTE IN IT ALL THE TIME, AND YOU WILL HAVE SUCH BAD BREATHE THAT WON'T GO AWAY, EVEN THOUGH YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH.  SOON YOU'LL STOP BRUSHING YOUR TEETH.

PLEASE, I HAVE READ YOUR DIARY FOR A WHILE NOW, AND I HAVE BULIMIA AND I AM ASHAMED TO SAY THAT I ACTUALLY WENT LOOKING FOR AN EATING DISORDER.  WELL, I GOT WHAT I WANTED, LOST SOME WEIGHT, AND NOW I NEVER KNOW IF I WILL LIVE THROUGH THE DAY.  I PURGED 15 TIMES IN ONE DAY, AND I DON'T EVEN USE MY FINGERS ANYMORE!!  I HAVE SCARS ON MY HANDS, AND BRUISES ON MY STOMACH.  I FEEL AWEFUL WHEN I PURGE, AND IT NO LONGER GIVES ME EVEN THE SLIGHTEST SATISFATION.  I AM ADDICTED, AND I WILL NOT HELP YOU TO GET ADDICTED TO THE SAME HELL AS I AM IN.  I THINK PROANA SITES ARE DISGUSTING AND FROM THE DEVIL HIMSELF.  AND, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT BUILMIA WILL KILL YOU, AND THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.  THERE ARE NONE.  STILL TO THIS DAY, I QUESTION MY SANITY OF THAT DAY WHEN I FIRST ASKED SOMEBODY FOR INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO PURGE.  I DON'T EVEN LOSE WEIGHT ANYMORE.  MY METABOLISM IS SO SCREWED UP, MY BODY DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SUSTAIN A WEIGHT THAT IS GOOD FOR ME.  AND EVERY TIME I PURGE MY EYES HAVE SPOTS IN FRONT OF THEM, AND I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA PASS OUT, AND THEN I CAN'T EVEN SEE, BUT I NEVER PASS OUT SO I JUST STAND THERE, TERRIFIED, UNTIL MY VISION COMES BACK.  YOU DO NOT WANT THIS.  THIS IS HELL, AND PURGING WILL JUST MAKE YOUR EATING DISORDER THAT MUCH MORE HELLISH.

I WILL NOT TELL YOU HOW, BECAUSE YOU ARE SO SO SO SO SO SO LUCKY THAT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW, BECAUSE THAT MEANS YOU HAVE THAT MUCH OF A BETTER CHANCE OF GETTING BETTER.  I HOPE YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING, BECAUSE I WISH WITH ALL MY HEART SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS, INSTEAD OF THE LIES THAT ALL THE "PROANA" PEOPLE TOLD ME.  THEY ARE NOT MY FRIENDS.  THEY ARE SICK PEOPLE.  AND PEOPLE WHO TRY TO HELP YOU COMMIT SLOW SUICIDE ARE NOT FRIENDS.  NO MATTER HOW DESPERATE YOU ARE TO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE.  I HAVE BEEN THERE.  TRUST ME.  YOU DON'T WANT THIS.

-Rebecca

Best advice is to not binge at all or if u have to, then chew your food but spit it out instead of swallowing. It feels weird at first but you get used to it.

Purging is horrible and it wrecks your throat and everything else. Its tonnes better to avoid it.

Good luck anyways and take it easy xxx

thats not that bad

i have to go to KFC with my friends on saturday.

i'm DREADING it.

hope your ok hun

Stay Strong.

Lovess

Hellarockstar!

Thats still really good considering you went to a restaurant

I always break down when im eating out and stuff my face

Last time i went out i had battered ice-cream

It was lush but like 1000 calories and i couldnt purge afterwards!!

Anyways

Hope we can chat xx

Omg, I thought I was doing excellent but at this point i almost have to eat something..

I feel soo bad, and on top of it I cant let anyone get suspicious so I practically have to eat dinner tonight..!

Apples are negative cals? seriously..? wow... what does that mean? no cals in them? or they burn more calories than they take? either way I cant believe that.. wow that mean I ate 0 cals friday, 0 cals yesterday and so far 0 cals today. I LOVE APPLES=)

lol.. keep going darling and DONT ge frustrated over one bad day. YOU CAN DO IT...

Love&Support, Chloe xxx

stop feeling so down

you'll get no where.

just start again and be strong

you'll be fine :)

Lovess

Hellarockstar

thats rlly good.

good JOB

hey,

well one step away from failure is one step in the direction of success

just keep thinking positive. thinking you can't do it will just make you binge and be depressive, but its a good thing that you have willpower and you are willing to be thin.

just stay strong.

I have been though it all before and i relapsed, but i'm back again and never stronger.

We will win.

Lovess

Hellarockstar

No way, normally I'm a failure I don't know whats come over me=)

You obviously do have willpower, I just know it..! You wouldn't be doing this if you had none, hehe it was my pleasure. You totally helped me more than you know!!! Don't stop now..!

Love&Support, Chloe xxx

Well done, I am SO happy for you!! Hehe, Your totally my get-thinspo!! Lol, All those girls look fantastic up there! Keep going!

StayStrong;LiveOn..x

hey girl. hope you have fun when yo go to new york. i've been there its alot of fun. SHOPPING!!!

lol thats the best part. its alot of fun. i live in ohio

you are not fat!! if your fat than i must be a cow!! im 5'9'' weighing at about 130....damn...now Im going on a mega diet..

[bananna]

1st time I seen ANYone cum

What about you have you done that I need some technique advice 

ohhh i was just asking

u have a real mature-mindedness about u

am 114 but i want to be 100 or less. i didnt eat for 2 days.:)

Hey! I just wanted to tell u that I know how it feels to be forced.

And also, just so u know...one normal-sized plate of carbonara pasta has more than 500kcals, about 800 actually. Im not trying 2 make u feel worse, just tellin u so that u know next time xxx

why would you eat all that!

just tell yourself your not hungry your not hungry and you will be fat and ugly if you eat it. thats was i do.

how much do you want to weight?

113 that is great

I feel sick when I dont eat im about 118